The “Prison Spread”

Spicy Nacho Prison Spread

This dish really illustrates how bad prison food is. If you are desperate enough to dip your chip in this, you have to be serving a life sentence with your nacho flavored prison spread.

Here is what you need:

  • 4-5 bowls
  • A small bag (like the one you brew your prison hooch in)
  • 2 packages of Top Ramen (so that you have enough to share)
  • A little hot water
  • 1 bag of spicy chips (like Flaming Hot Cheetos)
  • Some beef jerky (optional)
  • A few ounces of squeeze cheese
  • 1 package of chili beans
  • 1 hot pickle
  • Tortilla chips

Here are the directions in our “chef’s” own words:

I got four or five bowls. Start off with your two Top Ramen noodles in a small bag. Put hot water in them, but don’t put too much. Mix them around until you get that nice feel, like it is smooth and the noodles cooked.

Mix in a bag of hot chips (Hot Cheese Crunchies), adding more water if the cheese crunch sucks up some of the water. Keep this on the side.

I don’t like beef jerky, but if you like it you can add it in at that moment.

Pour two packages of Jalapeño Cheese Squeezer (“squeeze cheese”) into a bowl, mix it with a cool amount of milk, enough so that it will spread, so you can spread it over your nachos.

Rip open a package of chili beans and pour it into another bowl. Chop up a regular or hot pickle into small dice pieces. You now have, in separate bowls, noodles, cheese, chili beans, and pickles.

Throw the cheese and beans into the microwave and let them warm up to a nice, wonderful temperature, at least five minutes. Make sure you watch them in case they overboil. If they overboil, open the microwave door, mix them up, and warm them up about three more minutes. Take them out, run to whatever table you’re at. Lay down a flat bag. Put tortilla chips or Doritos down first. Pour the noodles with the hot chips over that, then the beans, but slowly, making sure there’s a rim of nacho chips around the spread. Once I got the beans down, I pour the pickles, ’cause I got them slice and dice. I pour the pickles nice and rice over it, then I pour the cheese on top of that. Once I got the cheese on top of it then it’s cool, and that’s what I be calling my Nacho Spread.

Ask a Phoenix Criminal Defense Attorney

Call Now


702 E Osborn Rd,
Ste. 150
Phoenix,, AZ 85014

Need help with your criminal case?

Has your case been scratched?

Ask us us a question or request a free consultation

Arrested in Phoenix? Don't Plead Guilty!

Have you ever wanted to go to jail? If so, Arizona is the state for you. Arizona laws are tough and even your first arrest could land you in jail, cause you to lose your job, ruin your reputation and make you lose your right to possess a firearm. Even a minor conviction can have lasting consequences on your life.

We’re On Your Side When Your Freedom is at Stake

Ask Us a Question or Request a Call. We’ll get back to you right away.

Call Us Now!


Secrets Cops & Prosecutors Don’t Want You to Know

BUSTED! The Secrets Cops and Prosecutors Don't Want You To Know
Enter your information to receive my FREE book, or simply call (602) 957-3300 to order your book.